Woe is me, the captain of no ship

“Woe is me. In my return, absent of you, my hands all but exclaim danger upon your cold, water-stained frame. Am I so bad as to say I wish your disablement without my control? Me, your once great captain?
I left you so long ago, yet you haunt me in my waking hours to torture my own. My hands resemble the shape of a gun pointed at my head. If only when pulled there was a projectile ejected to my skull, but instead the sigh of ‘bang’ exits my mouth. Woe is me who stands to break. I now clammer at your thought. The thought of your wooden exterior breaking in my hands, torn to pieces like soft sand in my palm, yet when I STRIKE, my hand is splintered back at my chest. WOE is me who stands to break.
Woe is me, the captain of no ship.”


We have to use proper grammar now dammit


Proper grammar needs to be abolished.

We need you.

You will be abolished sooner than grammar.